


Awesome

by Anaelita



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Comfort, Gen, I tried my best, My First Work in This Fandom, One Shot, Read this if you feel bad, Reader-Insert, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 23:10:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10627098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anaelita/pseuds/Anaelita
Summary: It's the end of your holidays in Beach City. You're not feeling well but the gems are here to lift your spirits.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kidha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kidha/gifts).



> "When you think badly of yourself, try to think of Rose telling you that everything's going to be okay."
> 
> Kind advice from the best sister ever <3

You're on holidays in Beach City to visit your friend Vidalia, who introduced you to the Crystal Gems. You get along quite well with them and sometimes hang out at the temple. You've taken a particular liking to Amethyst and her no-care attitude, and also Rose, who for some reason always manages to lift your spirits up.

You're going back to your hometown in two days, and you're sitting atop the cliff near the lighthouse, thinking about the mess you left home and the tons of work awaiting you. You dwell on past decisions and whatnots, and you are starting to be seriously depressed when you notice Rose coming towards you, sporting her usual soft smile.

"What's wrong, (y/n) ?"

"I feel useless."

Rose frowns, "But you aren't."

You roll your eyes and cross your arms against your chest. "Yeah, that's what _you_ say. Still, I haven't done anything remotely useful or productive whatsoever lately."

"That doesn't mean you _never_ did anything useful. See, gems are made for a purpose, while humans are meant to evolve and grow. Sometimes you might be confused as to what your goal in life is, but it's up to you to find it."

"That's something I don't understand. How can you find something that is already inside yourself ? I mean, if you have the answer you have it, period."

The gem softly look at you and explains, "Look, it's like an old memory : you have it in you but it may require some effort to actually retrieve it."

"Like an old memory, huh ? But it's not like the-person-I'll-be is already in my head, right ? I still have to become that person. I still have to find... but _how_ ? Seriously, I need a fucking manual to read, I'm losing my mind here." Frustration wells up inside your gut, you want to punch or break something but you know you'll regret it. Why do you have to be so angry, so violent ? You're not supposed to be this way.

Rose sits next to you, laying her bare feet on the grass. "Hey, it's okay to be confused."

You throw up your arms in the air, annoyed because you know she's right yet you're unable to do much more than brooding over your situation. "Rose, you know I really like you but you're not helpful. Telling me I have a right to feel bad won't actually help me getting better."

"You have to admit you feel bad and think about it, though. You won't be getting anywhere if you don't."

You shot up an eyebrow at that, "What do you mean ?"

Rose brings her knees to her chest, enlacing them with her arms, and rests her head atop of them. She almost seems smaller like this. "To understand yourself, and move forward, you need to think about and question everything that makes you _you_ , instead of avoiding the bad memories and feelings. Because those are part of you too."

You hunch your shoulders and pout, "But if they're bad, I don't want them inside of me at all."

The gem smiles, "That's normal. I'd say it's a human reaction but I guess it's a cosmic thing, even gems don't like to think about what went wrong and sometimes..." She sighs, "Well, even we may conceal things we're not proud of." There's a softness in her voice that hints that she does, too, hide things from time to time, but you brush the thought aside. After all, she's one of the most amazing beings you've met so why would you compare yourself to her anyway ?

"What's the point then ?" You're getting bitter by the second. "If even you, and heaven knows you've been here for a long time, if even _you gems_ have trouble accepting yourself at the fullest, how could I, poor human, with my short little life, ever be able to find myself and my place on Earth ? Ugh." You drop backwards, hitting your head on a rock in the process. You disloge the faulty rock from under your head and scratch your hurt scalp, groaning. "Great. See, I can't even lay down properly."

Rose laughs, and you have half a mind to be offended, but then she looks at you fondly – why on Earth would she, you wonder – and says, "You humans overthink everything, yet you often fail to see what's right under your nose."

"And what exactly am I missing ?"

"The point ! You're so focused on what's wrong that you can't see what you do right."

"And what do _I_ do right ?" You hold a handful of grass in your tight fist and you're about to rip it off.

"Being you."

You deflate, kind of lost. "What ?"

"You are _you_. And that's the thing you do right", Rose insists.

"But how ? I told you I don't know who I am nor who I want to be, how I could I be right when I'm at a loss as to _what_ is right ?"

"Ask your friends. They like you for who you are, they might even know you better than you do, the way you say it. But it's okay, everyone learned a thing or two about themselves during their journey on Earth." Then she winks at you, "I know what I'm talking about."

"But what if I don't like the way I am ?"

"Then change ! You're bound to, and that's what's so amazing about your species."

"What if I'm not sure how ?"

"Then ask for help. No one is destined to be alone, you're not and you'll never be. People might not understand your point of view but what's wrong in trying to reach theirs ? Maybe when you see things differently you can act on it."

Turning your head towards her, you admit, "You've got a point. But that's not the manual I asked for. How am I supposed to learn about myself and find the answers _inside_ if I keep referring to other people ?"

The rest of the Crystal Gems appear at the end of the lighthouse park. Great, like you wanted to share your problems with them all.

Pearl waves her hand, "Rose ! Where were you ? I've been looking for you all around the temple." She seems worried, she always is when Rose is involved.

"See, there was no need to worry, she was with (y/n)", Garnet calms her.

Amethyst beams at you, "(y/n), my pal ! Wanna hang out with me and Vidalia ?"

"You're supposed to say "Vidalia and me", Amethyst", Pearls corrects the younger gem.

"Who cares ?", Amethyst retorts. "Wanna hang out, still ?"

You fidget, still sitting, then decide to follow Rose's advice. "Guys, what am I ?"

The three newcomers start, visibly taken aback by your question.

"I mean, I know I'm human and all but... I wonder, who am I ? Like, am I a good person ? Am I doing something good with my life ? Am I going somewhere ?" You look expectantly at them for a second, then backtrack and amend, "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you with my stupid questions. I just... I feel like I'm losing myself."

"I know the feeling", Garnet pipes in.

"Yeah ?" You tend to forget gems have feelings just like humans.

"Sometimes you dwell on what you did, or what someone said that made you feel bad. Everyone has those moments. Want to try my way of getting out of it ?"

"Sure."

Pearl silently joins Rose, sitting on the edge of the cliff, and Amethyst stays close by, observing but not interfering.

"Sit, install yourself comfortably and breathe deeply."

"That's it ?", you wonder dubiously.

Garnet holds out her hand, motioning to the grass "Please, (y/n), sit, close your eyes, and breathe."

Reluctantly, because you don't really see the point, you do as you're told. You close your eyes and inhale until your lungs are filled to the brim, then exhale deeply. After a few full respirations you already feel a weight being hold off your chest.

"You okay ?", Garnet inquires.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good. Now look at the thought you had that disturbed you."

"It's ugly."

"Maybe. Probably. Look at it and ask it, ask yourself, is that thought able to ruin your life ?"

Conflicted feelings rush inside you. "It should not, but..."

"Is it ?", the gem insists.

You breathe deeply and focus on the question asked, "No."

"Then let it go."

Always, simple solutions but they're so hard to apply, "How ?"

"Let it be. Just watch it, think about it for the while it passes in front of your eyes then let it go. It's just a thought."

"Watch it ? How can I watch it and not suffer ?"

"It's just like the movies. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. But in the end they're just a handful of minutes spent in front of an illusion that does not, and should not interfere with your life."

"But it can inspire me, how is that not interfering ?"

Garnet hums and explains, "The movie itself doesn't interfere with your life. Won't make it better, won't make it worse. _You_ will. Maybe because you saw things differently after said movie, but neither the scenarist or the actors are going to have any responsibility towards who you are, or who you become."

Dumbfounded, because you never thought of it that way, you simply state, "True."

"Where is that thought now ?"

You think for a while, gazing at the sky, then answer, "Going away, I guess."

Garnet smiles. "See, nothing to be afraid of. You should try and do that everytime you have trouble seing clearly."

You smile, somewhat relieved and feeling a ton lighter. "I'll try."

Amethyst, who you'd forgotten about, rushes behind you to hold you in a tight hug and lift you off the ground – how someone so short can be so strong is still a mystery –, "Alright, my pal's back ! Now's time to have fun !"

While she puts you down, the two remaining gems join you, Pearl providing useful information : "I don't know if you've heard about it, (y/n), but I think you humans have something similar to Garnet's technique, called _meditation_ ", she air-quotes. "It was widely used in ancient times but somehow most of your race forgot how to do it. Maybe you should do some research about it."

You ponder the question and decide it's not a bad idea after all. You're not the only human facing this kind of trouble, maybe you should indeed look at what the others found before you. You're already planning a trip to your hometown's library when you feel Amethyst tugging at your sleeve insistently, "So, now that you're fine and all, do we go to Vidalia's ? I miss having fun with you all."

"You do have fun with me ?"

Amethyst laughs her ass off, "But of course ! You're awesome for a human, you know."

"Hah, _for a human_."

"Well... I met more humans than gems so... I guess you're pretty awesome overall", the young gem grins.

You sigh and realize you're searching for more reasons to stay upset instead of moving on. "Alright, alright. Let's move." Motioning to the rest of the gems, you offer, "But you guys come over, I wanna spend some good time with you all." You smile and add, "You're awesome, _for non-humans._ "

And as the five of you make your way towards Vidalia's house, you try to remind yourself that you're pretty good as a human, flawed and biased in many ways, but kind and benevolent nevertheless. You'll try your best, and you'll succeed.


End file.
